And sometimes I'm the idiot...

Last night I was supposed to meet up with a friend at The Grove, but she came down with a migraine and was unable to go out. So, I figured, I'm dressed up, in a good mood, didn't want to stay home or go dancing, so decided to try this one restaurant near The Grove that I've been wanting to check out. Wouldn't you know? The booked restaurant had one spare place at the bar where I was able to sit, have a glass of prosecco and enjoy a meal.

For a few of you reading, you're thinking, you went out to eat by yourself? I could/would never do that. Well I do. It's not awkward. I don't pull a book out of my purse. I don't fiddle with my cell phone. I sit, eat, and people watch. Because it's fun and because I can. (Although try to pull this in Italy, and the Italians look at you funny) The waiter, William, was quite helpful, and I made my selections.

Normally I don't sit at a bar, but that was my only option last night. To my right was a couple on a date, and to my left were a couple of guys who used to work together, catching up. And then there I was, sitting up straight, holding my glass of prosecco by the stem, because that's how you should carry a glass of chilled white. Of course, I can't help but eavesdrop... the man to my left was talking to his friend about wine and his travels and mentioned his brother Alessandro. Note to self, I could ask if he's Italian. I didn't.

The two men were chatting, drinking and trying different wines and eating... and I found out the one further to the left was married, plus he reminded me of my brother, which was starting to make me smile. At any rate, William brought out my dessert, a chocolate bacon crunch bar with salt and pepper ice cream-- don't judge, it was delicious. The man next to me looked over and said, "Wow, you've had a nice dinner, the agnolotti and the veal tongue, that was really good, wasn't it?" The men had ordered that too, along with some other plates. So I turned to look at him briefly to agree, and yes, I was smiling. He was really cute. So cute it made me nervous.

I left soon after that, kicking myself on the way out of the restaurant.

Sometimes I enjoy the alone time. BUT...
What were the odds that my friend would come down with a migraine? And the fact that there was only one available seat left in the joint?!
Not to over analyze, but I completely missed the mark. Sigh.

"Something Suddenly Came Up..."

Carlos is not very bright. For someone who says he wants to see me, why not just ask instead of waiting to meet up at a salsa venue? I don't get it.

So... I've dropped him. After the series of texts exchanged this past Wednesday, I'm mad at myself for not telling him, "Don't bother me." But who wants to be rude?

He had asked if I'd be going out on Wednesday, to which I said yes. So, he said he'd try to make it. Now, I know he said try, so that should have been my first clue that he would be a no show. He could have just said, wish I could go, but I have something else I need to get done, etc.

But no... thanks to Verizon who lets me store my messages (Wednesday night approximately 10:30 p.m.):

Carlos: How was it?

Me: I'm still here.

Carlos: Oh. Sorry have fun, something came up and I couldn't go :(

(Reminds me of The Brady Bunch, where Greg or Marcia were so stinkin' popular, that, 'something suddenly came up.' Sheesh.)

Me: It's alright.

Carlos: Thx baby have fun :*

Me: I will

Carlos: Good for you ;)

(much much later-- after midnight)

Carlos: Goodnight

And I cannot believe what I've just participated in... a junior high argument.

I know he owes me no explanation. It's okay. However, if you want to see me, just ask, because like this I feel it's build up for a disappointment.

It's the whole momentum... too much time passes and he turns into one of those guys who say "Finally we see each other!" Really?! No kidding!! Can't stand guys that say that. Correction. I can't stand guys who say it in that certain way that makes you feel like a moron. Which in reality, they're the ones that had 'something suddenly come up.'

It's gets better, or worse, depending on how you look at it. Since I never responded back to him, I get a few more messages last night while I was out:

7:26 P.M. Hi gorgeous how are you ;)
9:02 P.M. Are you mad at me? :(
9:36 P.M. Do you want me not to text you anymore? :/
9:38 P.M. One more thing you are superb special to me

After consulting with a male friend, I sent Carlos a final message: Don't text me anymore. I'm dating someone and I'd appreciate it if you leave me alone.

Carlos? Carlos who??

I do not give my number out often. So imagine my perplexed thought when I received a text message a couple weeks ago from a number I don't recognize... "hi Dominica this is carlos do u remember me, r u still dancing salsa?" I know, a lot of typos.

Before responding back, I beat my brain trying to remember who this guy is. Out of all the guys I know with the name Carlos, none of them have my number. Embarrassed, I inquire who he is because I don't recall.

So he tells me we met 4 years ago. Great, so he kept my number but I obviously deleted his... and I still can't place him. Then he tells me we had kissed, and I start to worry. Was it that bad that I blocked it from my memory? But slowly it comes back to me, and it's crystal clear.

Carlos had been really into me. Unfortunately, due to the fact that his conversational skills didn't pass beyond, "you know you're gorgeous," and, oh yeah, he was living with his girlfriend, I didn't reciprocate. I found out he had a girlfriend after we had kissed, and gave him a hard time about it.

He would tell me he wanted to break up with his girlfriend but afraid of hurting her feelings. But he wants me. Oy.... I told him he couldn't have both.

I had kept his number on my phone for a while, so that I would ignore his calls. Eventually, I erased his contact info.

Then months go by and out of the blue he call to tell me that he broke up with his girlfriend. I don't know if he expected me to be happy, but I was indifferent. It was just an awkward thing to hear, coming from him.

So, now, a few years later he calls again?! Although, to my pleasant surprise, we did talk for a bit and it was okay. At the end of the call, he asked my permission if he could keep in touch and I was fine with that. He's been texting me fairly regularly and he says he wants to see me, but it hasn't happened yet.

Coffee is too much...

Back in my day of internet dating, meeting for coffee was the easiest thing to do. Needless to say, I was on a caffeine kick.

This one guy, Anthony, was a teacher out in the valley and asked if I would meet him at Starbucks. In Mission Hills. Okay, I'll drive that way.

People who know me, know that I'm punctual. However, I was running late because I miscalculated how long it would take to get there. When I got to Starbucks, I found him first and sat down to say hello. After a few minutes, he asked, "Aren't you going to get anything?" I said yes, in a minute, but in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, thanks for not even offering! Rude... did he think I would order the venti cap frap whachamacallit? Seriously, I'll take a small tea. Starbucks sucks.

We talked for a little while and then he asked if I've ever been to the Odyssey and would I like to go right now. So I followed him up the hill to the Odyssey.

When we got up there, we continued talking as we walked around the perimeter of the restaurant. I just wasn't feeling any chemistry. In fact, I'd have more fun studying statistics -- a subject I have zero patience for. He was telling me how he used to crash weddings up there. Lovely. So I asked him if he's ever eaten there, and he tells me, "Oh, no! It's way too expensive!" I continued with, "Not even for a special occasion?" But no was his final answer. Wow.

Then he decided to take advantage of the view and the ambiance and he kissed me... I can't deal with bad kissers.

I didn't talk to him much after that.

You're So Cute!!!

Every once in a while I head out toward the valley to go dancing... and since I have friends out there, it's always fun.

One night as I get there, I sit outside and catch up with a friend... all the while this guy, Alexander, approaches and decides to interrupt us. No big deal, really.... but he doesn't go away. In fact, he's a bit tipsy. Or maybe a lot tipsy -- hard to tell!

And then it begins... first he keeps saying, "you're so cute!" Then it progresses to, "we would look good together." My friend witnessing starts to laugh a little bit. I thought it was humorous too, but after a while it was getting on my nerves.

Then another friend joins us outside, who happens to be the blond, blue eyed, complete opposite of me, but Alexander doesn't care much for her. As he keeps going on about my cuteness, I keep glancing over at my friend with exasperated facial expressions. So, he directs me to go inside, and I do.

When the coast is clear, I sit outside again, and this time Alexander walks up with a brown paper bag and hands it over. It's a can of Pepsi. Apparently, a gift to show his love and affection. Again he starts, "you're really cute!" and talking about getting together and going to the gym. How romantic. Oh, yes, and he'd like me to teach him to dance salsa, but instead I point to my friend and say, "he's the instructor."

THEN!!! He grabs his key chain, looks for something on it, finds a gold-ish ring that he wants to give me. An actual ring, not a key ring. He wanted to put it on my finger. I declined and go back inside.

By the way... my friend has reported that Alexander showed up a few weeks ago looking for me.

Now I'm His Girlfriend? Part II

Church Boy had been complaining about his pharmacist, so I recommended he try another place, and gave him the contact info. The day after, I called up Michael, who works at the pharmacy and told him that a friend of mine might be calling him.

He already did.

Michael said he had already spoken with Church Boy, and how his girlfriend was telling him to call, and that his girlfriend highly recommended this pharmacy. Yes, Michael did stress and enunciate where noted. Very enthusiastically, I may add.

Okay... so if you cringe at the sound of someone calling you their girlfriend, is that a bad sign?

I remember Labor Day was that coming weekend. I called up Church Boy and asked if I could stop by after work. He said sure and invited me to go to his parents house to pick up mail, but I told him I'll only be a few minutes, that I wanted to drop off his books that he wanted me to read (hmmm... no).

When I got to his apartment building, he was already waiting, saved me the trouble of turning off the engine. He leaned in through the passenger side window to retrieve his books and I said, "I don't want to see you again." Yes, quite direct, but sometimes I know no other way. He got upset and started asking questions, to which I didn't feel the need to answer. It concluded with, "Well, at least you owe me an answer."

I gently said, "I don't owe you anything." He backed off and I left.

On my way home, my cell phone got a voicemail - without ringing. Odd... I checked it and it was Church Boy. He was upset, sounded like he was crying, and proceeds to accuse me of being cold, not open, and a bunch of other things that I can't remember anymore (this was a few years ago, after all!).

But of course, a voice message wasn't enough. That's right, I received a long-winded email from him as well. This was just plain confusing, so I forwarded it to a male friend to gain some prospective. My friend replied with: "What a narcissist. He's going to teach you a lesson, and get the upper hand. You'll hear from him again."

But thankfully, it ended there.