Coffee is too much...

Back in my day of internet dating, meeting for coffee was the easiest thing to do. Needless to say, I was on a caffeine kick.

This one guy, Anthony, was a teacher out in the valley and asked if I would meet him at Starbucks. In Mission Hills. Okay, I'll drive that way.

People who know me, know that I'm punctual. However, I was running late because I miscalculated how long it would take to get there. When I got to Starbucks, I found him first and sat down to say hello. After a few minutes, he asked, "Aren't you going to get anything?" I said yes, in a minute, but in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, thanks for not even offering! Rude... did he think I would order the venti cap frap whachamacallit? Seriously, I'll take a small tea. Starbucks sucks.

We talked for a little while and then he asked if I've ever been to the Odyssey and would I like to go right now. So I followed him up the hill to the Odyssey.

When we got up there, we continued talking as we walked around the perimeter of the restaurant. I just wasn't feeling any chemistry. In fact, I'd have more fun studying statistics -- a subject I have zero patience for. He was telling me how he used to crash weddings up there. Lovely. So I asked him if he's ever eaten there, and he tells me, "Oh, no! It's way too expensive!" I continued with, "Not even for a special occasion?" But no was his final answer. Wow.

Then he decided to take advantage of the view and the ambiance and he kissed me... I can't deal with bad kissers.

I didn't talk to him much after that.

You're So Cute!!!

Every once in a while I head out toward the valley to go dancing... and since I have friends out there, it's always fun.

One night as I get there, I sit outside and catch up with a friend... all the while this guy, Alexander, approaches and decides to interrupt us. No big deal, really.... but he doesn't go away. In fact, he's a bit tipsy. Or maybe a lot tipsy -- hard to tell!

And then it begins... first he keeps saying, "you're so cute!" Then it progresses to, "we would look good together." My friend witnessing starts to laugh a little bit. I thought it was humorous too, but after a while it was getting on my nerves.

Then another friend joins us outside, who happens to be the blond, blue eyed, complete opposite of me, but Alexander doesn't care much for her. As he keeps going on about my cuteness, I keep glancing over at my friend with exasperated facial expressions. So, he directs me to go inside, and I do.

When the coast is clear, I sit outside again, and this time Alexander walks up with a brown paper bag and hands it over. It's a can of Pepsi. Apparently, a gift to show his love and affection. Again he starts, "you're really cute!" and talking about getting together and going to the gym. How romantic. Oh, yes, and he'd like me to teach him to dance salsa, but instead I point to my friend and say, "he's the instructor."

THEN!!! He grabs his key chain, looks for something on it, finds a gold-ish ring that he wants to give me. An actual ring, not a key ring. He wanted to put it on my finger. I declined and go back inside.

By the way... my friend has reported that Alexander showed up a few weeks ago looking for me.

Now I'm His Girlfriend? Part II

Church Boy had been complaining about his pharmacist, so I recommended he try another place, and gave him the contact info. The day after, I called up Michael, who works at the pharmacy and told him that a friend of mine might be calling him.

He already did.

Michael said he had already spoken with Church Boy, and how his girlfriend was telling him to call, and that his girlfriend highly recommended this pharmacy. Yes, Michael did stress and enunciate where noted. Very enthusiastically, I may add.

Okay... so if you cringe at the sound of someone calling you their girlfriend, is that a bad sign?

I remember Labor Day was that coming weekend. I called up Church Boy and asked if I could stop by after work. He said sure and invited me to go to his parents house to pick up mail, but I told him I'll only be a few minutes, that I wanted to drop off his books that he wanted me to read (hmmm... no).

When I got to his apartment building, he was already waiting, saved me the trouble of turning off the engine. He leaned in through the passenger side window to retrieve his books and I said, "I don't want to see you again." Yes, quite direct, but sometimes I know no other way. He got upset and started asking questions, to which I didn't feel the need to answer. It concluded with, "Well, at least you owe me an answer."

I gently said, "I don't owe you anything." He backed off and I left.

On my way home, my cell phone got a voicemail - without ringing. Odd... I checked it and it was Church Boy. He was upset, sounded like he was crying, and proceeds to accuse me of being cold, not open, and a bunch of other things that I can't remember anymore (this was a few years ago, after all!).

But of course, a voice message wasn't enough. That's right, I received a long-winded email from him as well. This was just plain confusing, so I forwarded it to a male friend to gain some prospective. My friend replied with: "What a narcissist. He's going to teach you a lesson, and get the upper hand. You'll hear from him again."

But thankfully, it ended there.