There are certain times where certain people say certain things, and they haven't a clue on how badly it affects me.
Take my father, for example. Firstly, I only refer to him as my father when I'm NOT happy with him. Secondly, I never would talk to him about my love life. Ever.
So I was utterly horrified the other day when he sat by my desk before leaving work with, "I have to tell you something." Turns out he wants me to find someone and settle down, in fact he used the word 'nest' in his speech.
What put me off even further is when he started talking about this guy who's been coming to the office a few times to speak with him. Whether or not he'd be good for me, who cares, but "you never know."
I'd expect this behavior from my mother (also only referred to in that way when I'm REALLY not happy with her), but my dad??!! Oh, my GOD! I don't think I've ever experienced such embarassment like that in my lifetime.
It's not that I don't want marriage... Please, I thought by 25 I'd have been hitched, but that didn't happen. So here I am now, finally in a groove with various activities I'm involved in, only to feel like I'm nothing because I'm not nesting?! Hmm. Crying yourself to sleep doesn't help either, but it seemed like the involuntary idea at the time.
I really wish my father's talk with me didn't bother me as much as it did, and I pray one day I'll be able to laugh about it. However, twenty four hours later and I'm still emotional. Sheesh!!!
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what is it about parents that seems to circumvent logic and makes it hard for us to 'just shrug it off" like we can with other 'advice" people give us? I guess w e expect 'more' from them? I'm not sure.. I am sorry it hurts..I can relate..My parents criticize all the time.. Even at middle age with a family of my own and grown up responsibilities they can still leave me in a heap.. Don't look outside yourself for approval. You will never find it because I think the standards keep changing that way.. Just want you to know I am here for you if you want to chat etc.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I've learned long ago that I too can never talk to my parents about anything real. My mother is super critical and never satisfied with any of my accomplishments. When I told her that I'm getting married abroad, the first thing she could think of was why I couldn't have my wedding HER way, in California. She wanted an event to invite all of her friends. She didn't care about what I wanted. Then when I persisted, her only response was "You're getting old so you better get married before he changes his mind." Let me know if you want to talk.
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