"Practice Dating" The Rules...

I know I've mentioned Meetup.com before, and I know I've participated in one singles group via that site, which I've deleted myself  from since. 

I get an email letting me know that I might be interested in the "Practice Dating" group.  Of course, curiosity spins me, and I check it out.  In theory, it's a good idea.  In execution, I'm not too sure.

The idea is this... People are divided into age groups.  Amongst the members, you're responsible to set up a coffee date, go and meet that person (preferably in a place where the woman feels comfortable).  Afterwards, you email each other to give feedback.  Sounds simple, but it could feel as though you have a business appointment, no?  I could have coffee with my dental hygienist, but that's hardly a date.

I thought, okay, I'll try it out.  I sign up, scan through the list of men and women, and breathe a sigh of relief when I recognize someone.  Cup-o-joe, Joe... get it?  ;-)

I met Joe on a hike a couple weeks prior, and he was nice enough to loan me his flashlight that particular evening.  I email him casually and ask if he would like to grab coffee sometime.  A thought occurred to me that he might not even email me back, but he did.

So we agreed to meet in Pasadena the following week...

Father Knows Best???

There are certain times where certain people say certain things, and they haven't a clue on how badly it affects me.

Take my father, for example. Firstly, I only refer to him as my father when I'm NOT happy with him. Secondly, I never would talk to him about my love life. Ever.

So I was utterly horrified the other day when he sat by my desk before leaving work with, "I have to tell you something." Turns out he wants me to find someone and settle down, in fact he used the word 'nest' in his speech.

What put me off even further is when he started talking about this guy who's been coming to the office a few times to speak with him. Whether or not he'd be good for me, who cares, but "you never know."

I'd expect this behavior from my mother (also only referred to in that way when I'm REALLY not happy with her), but my dad??!! Oh, my GOD! I don't think I've ever experienced such embarassment like that in my lifetime.

It's not that I don't want marriage... Please, I thought by 25 I'd have been hitched, but that didn't happen. So here I am now, finally in a groove with various activities I'm involved in, only to feel like I'm nothing because I'm not nesting?! Hmm. Crying yourself to sleep doesn't help either, but it seemed like the involuntary idea at the time.

I really wish my father's talk with me didn't bother me as much as it did, and I pray one day I'll be able to laugh about it. However, twenty four hours later and I'm still emotional. Sheesh!!!

"Hello, my name is Andy..."

"... and I'm calling from AT & T."

Okay, so he doesn't sound like that. His accent is very slight. Andy has been calling and texting me, wondering when is a good time to get together.

So I decided I'd go out with Andy at least once and give him a shot, and I suggest brunch. Then he suggests brunch in Santa Monica. I veto that idea and suggest Pasadena instead, since it's a closer distance for him.

I get to the cafe and just as I'm about to sit at a table, he comes out of the restroom area. I greeted him and he says, "Oh, I forgot what you look like." Must have been all the woody red wine he was drinking that night at the party.

Brunch was fine, but nothing exciting. He said he'd keep in touch, but really? I'm not heartbroken.

Happy Holidays Part II

So as I'm speaking with "Andy," I had to ask him what his real name was. Trust me. No Indian from India is named "Andy" at birth. He gave me a fake name, or rather, his nickname, but was at least quick to correct himself. After about an hour of talking with him, he kept asking me to dance or to do a hookah with him, but I didn't want to do either! Then he suggested we go outside (hello! frigid weather!), but I declined and said there were a couple more people that I wanted to chat with. So he went off to the dance floor, but not before asking me for my number.

As I made my way back to the banquet area, I saw the Russian guy and caught up with him a bit, while a few others joined us at the table: G, and a Beyonce wannabe. Other people were around us as well and the music was loud in the background. We were chatting and I guess Beyonce took it upon herself to play matchmaker. There was no bottle in sight, but somehow she advised the Russian to kiss me on the cheek. It felt like kindergarten. Amidst the joking around, G had taken his cell phone out and asked me for my number, so I gave it to him. Since there were different side conversations going on, I was getting slightly distracted, but I know I heard G say under his breath as he finished inputting my number in his cell, "but I do like you." He said this as a statement, like when you've made up your mind about something or someone. It got my attention.

Except my attention keeps getting interrupted by "Andy," who keep coming over and asking me to dance!! Even G made a comment to me regarding Andy... that he saw him checking me out ealier and that he took me away from everyone else for more than an hour!

As the party is dying down, I relocate to a sofa, and the Russian comes over to talk some more. Behind us I notice G and his friend that he brought along. As they come around, I thought they were leaving and wanted to say goodnight, so we all stood up. Instead, G switched places with the Russian and sat down with me. The Russian looked over and seemed annoyed, but G's friend is quite the aggresive type and she took it upon herself to drag the Russian away towards the bar.

G and I talked and joked around. He is really funny and definitely has me laughing a lot. Then I remember he's a bit younger than me, and thought he was just being friendly... until he kisses me.

Did NOT see that coming!!!! All I could think about was getting a glass of water! All the wine I had totally dried my mouth out!

Aside from the minor panic attack, it was a really good kiss. A great way to end the evening. :-)

Happy Holidays! Part I

The Meetup organizer decided to throw a last minute holiday party for the group.

Getting ready for the soiree, I couldn't decide between the warm and easy black slacks, or the tighter fitting dress (apparently one too many Christmas cookies). The dress won.

Driving to the party I was already creating plan B in my mind -- just in case the evening wasn't fun. Then wouldn't you know? I was one of the last to leave!

When I arrived, there was already about 25-30 people there. Before I started to mingle, I decided to get a glass of wine at the bar. As I was waiting for my drink, I ran into someone I had met last time, this funny guy named G. We chatted for a bit and made our way over to the banquet area, where we shared a table with several others.

As the evening progressed and so did the crowd, I decided to get another glass of wine... even though this older gentleman asked me 5 minutes earlier if he could get me something, I had declined. Again at the bar, I ended up next to G. There was a bunch of people waiting to be serviced, but the bartender catered to me first. G looked over wanting to know how I managed to sneak in. ;-)

So walking around I started talking to someone else, when I kept noticing this guy pacing a few feet away. He kept looking over to me. This happened several times before he interjected our conversation and introduced himself as "Andy." I was laughing inside myself because "Andy" managed to kick the other guy out of the conversation. So Andy says he want to get a drink, and he walks us over to the bar. I already had a glass of wine with me (white) and he kept insisting that he get me another, but red, because he thought I needed something darker and more woody. I swear on both of my grandmothers' grave that he said that verbatum! I'm thinking, hope he's not describing himself! It was just too funny.

Meetup?

Whoever invented meetup.com... you are awesome.

After being involved in various non-dating groups, I was introduced to one called Relationship Minded Singles. So, figured it couldn't hurt if I joined.

The first event I attended was a picnic potluck. I went with zero expectations. In fact, on the drive over to the park, I considered being a no-show. Instead, I kept driving to the valley.

It turned out to be pleasant, more of a meet and greet. An extremely wide variety of ages, but people were friendly. You had your nerds, your socially awkward men, the bizarre loudmouth lady, the vegan doctor who brought her dogs...

There was one Russian guy who emailed me through the site afterwards, saying he'd like to get to know me. I emailed him back and left my number. Except, I think he has a phobia of being on the phone. He called me - to ask for my email address, so we could communicate that way. Seriously, he says to me, "Well, thank you for your email address... I'll be emailing you and we can plan something that way."

Hmmm. With the holidays and the craziness of the end of the year, we never did really hang out. A little bit at the holiday party, but that's it. I'm sure I'll see him around though.

And sometimes I'm the idiot...

Last night I was supposed to meet up with a friend at The Grove, but she came down with a migraine and was unable to go out. So, I figured, I'm dressed up, in a good mood, didn't want to stay home or go dancing, so decided to try this one restaurant near The Grove that I've been wanting to check out. Wouldn't you know? The booked restaurant had one spare place at the bar where I was able to sit, have a glass of prosecco and enjoy a meal.

For a few of you reading, you're thinking, you went out to eat by yourself? I could/would never do that. Well I do. It's not awkward. I don't pull a book out of my purse. I don't fiddle with my cell phone. I sit, eat, and people watch. Because it's fun and because I can. (Although try to pull this in Italy, and the Italians look at you funny) The waiter, William, was quite helpful, and I made my selections.

Normally I don't sit at a bar, but that was my only option last night. To my right was a couple on a date, and to my left were a couple of guys who used to work together, catching up. And then there I was, sitting up straight, holding my glass of prosecco by the stem, because that's how you should carry a glass of chilled white. Of course, I can't help but eavesdrop... the man to my left was talking to his friend about wine and his travels and mentioned his brother Alessandro. Note to self, I could ask if he's Italian. I didn't.

The two men were chatting, drinking and trying different wines and eating... and I found out the one further to the left was married, plus he reminded me of my brother, which was starting to make me smile. At any rate, William brought out my dessert, a chocolate bacon crunch bar with salt and pepper ice cream-- don't judge, it was delicious. The man next to me looked over and said, "Wow, you've had a nice dinner, the agnolotti and the veal tongue, that was really good, wasn't it?" The men had ordered that too, along with some other plates. So I turned to look at him briefly to agree, and yes, I was smiling. He was really cute. So cute it made me nervous.

I left soon after that, kicking myself on the way out of the restaurant.

Sometimes I enjoy the alone time. BUT...
What were the odds that my friend would come down with a migraine? And the fact that there was only one available seat left in the joint?!
Not to over analyze, but I completely missed the mark. Sigh.